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During his original “Hope and Change” tour of 2008, Barack Obama lectured about “transparency.” Likely because he was trying to cash in on the idea that George W. Bush was hiding things. Like Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction. Also, side note? Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Oopsy-daisy. So fast-forward to 2016, the year of Please Let it All Be Over. The Obama Administration has (ALLEGEDLY) paid off Iran, a terrorist sponsor, towers of cash to release American hostages. Not for oil rights. Now there’s an investigation, and Attorney General Loretta Lynch? She’s decided she’d just rather not. Investigations are for pansies. Why be “transparent” when you can hide on your private jet, then later have a pow-wow with Bill Clinton? To discuss doily patterns, certainly.

 lynchhostagepayment

From The Washington Free Beacon:

Attorney General Loretta Lynch is declining to comply with an investigation by leading members of Congress about the Obama administration’s secret efforts to send Iran $1.7 billion in cash1 earlier this year, prompting accusations that Lynch has “pleaded the Fifth” Amendment to avoid incriminating herself over these payments, according to lawmakers and communications exclusively obtained by the Washington Free Beacon.

The response from the attorney general’s office is “unacceptable” and provides evidence that Lynch has chosen to “essentially plead the fifth and refuse to respond to inquiries regarding [her] role in providing cash to the world’s foremost state sponsor of terrorism,” Rubio and Pompeo wrote on Friday in a follow-up letter to Lynch, according to a copy obtained by the Free Beacon.

The inquiry launched by the lawmakers is just one of several concurrent ongoing congressional probes aimed at unearthing a full accounting of the administration’s secret negotiations with Iran.

Okay, so I want to state for the record I’m glad we got the hostages back. Okay? Okay. The problem with paying off a state-sponsor of terrorism, after they kidnap American soldiers, is for every reason listed in this one sentence. If Iran nabs our guys, and America just buys them back, we get ourselves into a bit of a pickle. What’s to stop any other country from doing the same?

Let’s play a game called “RANSOM”

Pretend your the Secretary of Finance for… well let’s make up our own country… let’s call it “Payustan.” You’re going over the books, and gosh darn it, money is a bit tight. You probably spent too much on studying why lesbians get fat. Dang it. Sure you could raise taxes on “the rich” OR you can nab some of those flag-waving Americans. Snap some embarrassing selfies. Post to Instagram and hashtag it #AmericaSucksLOL.

Then you, Secretary of Finance for Payustan, dials up President Hope and Change.

“Yo, Obama. Imma send you a text…” and you insert the Instagram link.

Then President Hope and Change responds: “That’s embarrassing. LOL. How much $$ you want?”

Not businesses...

Of course she’d be in a burka…

You get your $$, then tell your friends in Burkastan that if they too spent too much money studying the mating patterns of dessert squirrels, they should just kidnap some soldiers. Make fat stacks.

This little exchange rather undermines America’s world standing. And security. But whatever.

So Congress calls up the ATTORNEY GENERAL to get some details on what went down. She knows the deal stinks more than Lena Dunham’s sports bra. Rather than answer for it, she’d rather sit this one out. Why should she follow the law? Those pesky things are for lesser mortals. And you know the leftist media, your president, and maybe future president, will cover your guilty derriere.

But hey, this is the “Hope and Change” your “transparent” president promised you. Refer back to that bumpersticker you tried scraping off your hybrid for more information.

Also, forget about America actually fighting enemies for screwing us. That’s a thing of the past.

Cleanse your mind. Watch our latest podcast.

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